The gist -- Where to begin -- Chicago-based freelance writer -- The parts of this book that belong in the toilet -- Nick Hornby must be in this book -- Forget this book -- Autobiographical digression #1: leaving behind the skin from your knees -- How to get rejected -- And in the meantime life goes on -- Chicago cold -- And the good news? -- The call -- Autobiographical digression #2: confessions of a campus firebrand -- Whose opinion counts -- Please don't fact-check this chapter -- Expansive, self-critical, honest, jumpy, surprising, self-confident, cynical, smart, and very, very funny -- Wrong-headed, condescending toward the reader, self-involved, and unintentionally revealing -- Never start a story with dialogue -- The chapter I called 'Wildheart' -- The footnotes -- So you know what happens with this book -- Autobiographical digression #3: why we write -- This book, published.